umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
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