just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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