I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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