Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
