you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
