But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
