I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
