Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
