There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
