She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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