I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
