i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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