4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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