So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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