and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
