She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
