I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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