I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
