yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
