Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
