So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
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