I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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