Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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