I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
