Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
