i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
