I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
