On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
