Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
