well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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