i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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