He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
