we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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