what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
