It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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