yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
be right there i have to get my cape
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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