i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
