Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
