if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
