How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
