Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
