Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
