He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
