just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
They took my balls.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
