on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i think im in europe. pls send help
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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