Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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