Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Drunk is not a location!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
