the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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