I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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