dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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