After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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