we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
