i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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